I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
