Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
