i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
