do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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