didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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