Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
pop tarts are not kleenex
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My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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