Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
