You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
