He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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