you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize