Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
