I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
