i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
