apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
