brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
