i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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