I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
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I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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