If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
