I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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