one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
