i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
