this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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