You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
