i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
