Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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