I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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