He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
