I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
