Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!

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(214): View more from Texas

hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?

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(404): View more from Georgia

you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship

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(812): View more from Indiana

obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date

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(807): View more from Ontario

I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick

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(830): View more from Texas

What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple

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(940): View more from Texas

I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.

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(360): View more from Washington

Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt

(202): View more from Washington, DC

It’s a glorious dick miracle!

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