Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
