if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
