i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
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