i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
