he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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