im drinking this country out of the recession.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I need a beard to bite.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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