if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
