I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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