Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
How external is "for external use only"?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
