now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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