Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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