Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The best revenge is premature balding
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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