The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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