Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
