You made me cry and you don't even care
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
