ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
