Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class http://tfl.nu/1wvn
  Replies (9) Good night (2227) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral. http://tfl.nu/qqbj
  Replies (13) Good night (3092) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now http://tfl.nu/4qek
  Replies (22) Good night (4263) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15." http://tfl.nu/wu1w
  Replies (33) Good night (1046) Bad night (3650)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths http://tfl.nu/oqok
  Replies (23) Good night (936) Bad night (4198)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed. http://tfl.nu/ju0g
  Replies (14) Good night (971) Bad night (5047)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out. http://tfl.nu/0ttb
  Replies (23) Good night (6112) Bad night (1529)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here. http://tfl.nu/908w
  Replies (5) Good night (3299) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots http://tfl.nu/onvu
  Replies (6) Good night (494) Bad night (1326)
• Favorite

  (078): View more from

  Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (078): Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?! http://tfl.nu/fofo
  Replies (9) Good night (909) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  WTF DUDE?

  (323): View more from California

  Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): WTF DUDE? (323): Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this http://tfl.nu/ooar
  Replies (6) Good night (1069) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis. http://tfl.nu/mwio
  Replies (5) Good night (741) Bad night (225)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet http://tfl.nu/92s9
  Replies (4) Good night (384) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate. http://tfl.nu/d3a6
  Replies (0) Good night (168) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink (1-616): Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened http://tfl.nu/0an5
  Replies (1) Good night (791) Bad night (148)

Randomize