im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
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Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
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Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY