I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dating After Heartbreak
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.