Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?

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  (925): when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober? http://tfl.nu/qjrt
  Replies (30) Good night (934) Bad night (2083)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan

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  (616): this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan http://tfl.nu/llmd
  Replies (37) Good night (3963) Bad night (1582)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..

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  (321): you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night.. http://tfl.nu/r63d
  Replies (19) Good night (5897) Bad night (761)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart

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  (484): judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart http://tfl.nu/l5ge
  Replies (2) Good night (2358) Bad night (845)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling

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  (443): No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling http://tfl.nu/429d
  Replies (5) Good night (1145) Bad night (2343)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.

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  (816): I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions. http://tfl.nu/d3ti
  Replies (10) Good night (2403) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.

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  (614): lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name. http://tfl.nu/tsk6
  Replies (6) Good night (2296) Bad night (786)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Lmao sorry

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  (609): Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule (856): Lmao sorry http://tfl.nu/mr80
  Replies (2) Good night (2089) Bad night (737)
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  (631): View more from New York

  If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person

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  (631): If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person http://tfl.nu/73za
  Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (857)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.

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  (203): I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant. http://tfl.nu/7i15
  Replies (6) Good night (2063) Bad night (863)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.

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  (512): There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it. http://tfl.nu/1bu2
  Replies (12) Good night (1625) Bad night (635)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair

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  (+31): Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair http://tfl.nu/outv
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game

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  (415): I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/4656
  Replies (5) Good night (979) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once

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  (631): Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once http://tfl.nu/b35p
  Replies (8) Good night (734) Bad night (361)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?

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  (443): I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right? http://tfl.nu/v6f6
  Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (248)

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