Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.

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  (416): Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine. http://tfl.nu/wzgr
  Replies (4) Good night (2284) Bad night (614)
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  (619): View more from California

  thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina

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  (619): thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina http://tfl.nu/dtrt
  Replies (29) Good night (6224) Bad night (894)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?

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  (845): Do brothers usually kiss their sisters? http://tfl.nu/7etx
  Replies (38) Good night (891) Bad night (9794)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.

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  (402): as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy. http://tfl.nu/byhd
  Replies (21) Good night (738) Bad night (6083)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I understand Curling. That high.

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  (757): I understand Curling. That high. http://tfl.nu/c58u
  Replies (39) Good night (7373) Bad night (928)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating

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  (309): I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time (1-309): I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating http://tfl.nu/74eg
  Replies (21) Good night (5039) Bad night (1342)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'

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  (902): Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp' http://tfl.nu/0a7v
  Replies (8) Good night (1307) Bad night (3912)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.

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  (770): I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried. http://tfl.nu/6wir
  Replies (7) Good night (1129) Bad night (3132)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding

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  (541): Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding http://tfl.nu/9api
  Replies (3) Good night (666) Bad night (1448)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.

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  (940): Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line. http://tfl.nu/5wo4
  Replies (5) Good night (874) Bad night (1759)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...

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  (262): By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire... http://tfl.nu/1iat
  Replies (5) Good night (1599) Bad night (740)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"

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  (603): i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys" http://tfl.nu/5hh5
  Replies (5) Good night (615) Bad night (944)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.

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  (864): If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/qg7h
  Replies (11) Good night (2483) Bad night (952)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"

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  (+66): The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?" http://tfl.nu/bzhn
  Replies (0) Good night (569) Bad night (364)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.

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  (501): Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date. http://tfl.nu/kb0j
  Replies (1) Good night (189) Bad night (487)

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