Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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