just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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