I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
