I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
