i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
