halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
