A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I need water and some morals
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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