Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I need moral support for this bender
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
