If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
