You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
