2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
