She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
only you would photoshop your dick
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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