Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
