is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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