How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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