Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
