she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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