I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
