i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize