I bet he comes in French.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
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His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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